The Kit

Days to Marathon: 156

Weight: 186.1 (that's 13.29 stone if anyone's keeping track)

% Body Fat: 22% (ouch)

Total Kms Thus Far: 0 (hey - I just bought my shoes)

Best 1 km time: um, say, 15 minutes

Kms Today: 0

Average Pace: Let's say 'sonambulant'

Cheese o' The Week: Camembert (A French delight from Normandy, which was apparently issued to French troops in WWI and was 'inspired' - i.e. totally ripped off - by a priest from the village of ... wait for it... Brie.)

Consumption: Coffee (6); Sushi lunch (16 maki, miso, tea); steak with ceasar salad; about fifteen leftover Halloween-sized Caramilks (what? Are you a saint?).




Okay, so I'm now the proud owner of two (one left, one right) NIKE Air Pegasus shoes, including laces. As I now know, exposed thermoplastic urethane arch shanks add torsional rigidity and support under each arch for stability and roll-resistance, while the BRS 1000 rubber crash pads on outsole heels add durability and extra shock absorption on hard surfaces. I suppose it practically goes without saying that the rubber outsoles with motion-engineered flex grooves offer reliable traction and great toe-off (counter-intuitively, 'toe-off' is good).

I feel badly for people without thermoplastic arch shanks - I suppose it's better that they never know what they're missing, but still.


They also have matching laces and swooshy thing in a blue so intense it makes your eyes water.


I also bought the Nike + iPod device, which allows my shoes to talk to my iPod wirelessly, communicating and recording my 'fitness progress'. I can only imagine the conversation would go something like this:


Shoes: "This is so embarrassing."

iPod: "Yeah - this pace isn't even registering. He's gonna blame it on me, I know it. He's gonna call tech support and blame it on me."


Shoes: "It's humiliating. Did you see that little kid snicker when he whizzed past on the Big Wheel? I have exposed thermoplastic urethane arch shanks, for cryin' out loud! I'm better than this. Look how blue I am!"


iPod: "You think that's embarrassing - you should see what he's got in his "Old Faves" playlist - c'mon, the Backstreet Boys? Seriously. Can you make him trip and drop me? With any luck, I'll be smashed against the sidewalk."


Shoes: "Play something faster - maybe it'll inspire him to get his ass in gear. Do you have Eye of the Tiger?"


iPod: "Very retro. Maybe I should play Born To Run, but ironically."


Shoes: "More like Born To Stroll."


iPod: "Heh. It's more like a 'sashay', or maybe a 'sidle'."


Shoes: "What? We stopped. Are we home already? Are you kidding me? Did I mention the BRS 1000 rubber crash pads? Look how retina-blisteringly blue I am!"


iPod: "I guess I'd better queue up the Good-For-You-For-Exercising-Self-Affirmation-Crap playlist. Why can't Microsoft have made me - then I could have a fatal OS error and end it all."


Shoes: "See you next month."


iPod: "Whatever."




Oh, and never one to have a retail experience that didn't involve at least one willpower-buckling moment, I purchased cushioned NIKE running socks that are specific to each foot. I'm sure it will make all the difference.


OK, so let's see:


Shoes, epilepsy-inducing blue, one pair of - check.
Sock, designed specifically for left foot - check.
Sock, designed specfically for right foot - check.
Running pants, black, one sassily-tight pair of - check.
Running shirt, blue, evidently perspiration-wicking - check.
Running jacket, blue, highly reflective with bum-splash-guard - check.
iPod, loaded with bass-laden, overtly misogynist techno-rap - check.


I'm all set.


Here we go...